What makes you most anxious?

I examined what drove me anxious recently, and surprisingly realized that my anxiety often comes from things I cannot control. For instance, I am trying to collect debt from a friend who borrowed money from me about one year ago, and the amount is about half my month’s salary. The friend agreed to pay me back in a year. now it has been about one and half years, but no further response came from him after I last reached out to him inquiring about the debt payment like a month ago. It feels ridiculous because never had I thought this would become so hard. For me it would be natural to pay my debt as agreed upon, especially when it was a favor done from a friend.

Another thing that makes me anxious is also money related. I signed a warehouse lease for a close relative as a guarantor, and you know the rest of the story. The pandemic hits and the business are struggling to pay the rent. I became the person the landlord sought after whenever they cannot make the monthly rent payment. It is kind of painful because it is like a chronicle stress that comes back each month.

I need to examine my way of dealing with people financially. I am becoming just like my dad, trusting too much of people and ending up trapping myself. People I thought trustworthy end up failing me. I guess these are good lessons. I would refrain from lending out money in the future. I won’t want any anxiety from things out of my control from now on.